A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
