My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
