I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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