Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
