i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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