let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
