I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize