Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
