no, he came in my armpit
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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