Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
