And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
