Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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