Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
