sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
