I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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