is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Randomize
