We won't sleep together?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
