It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
