Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
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