My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
