9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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