Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
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