we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
