Screwed.edu
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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