4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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