Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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