3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
