physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
