Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I got inside last night via doggy door
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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