hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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