There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
