yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
