Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
