Pappa wants mamma naked
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
