It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
