Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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