in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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