He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
