So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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