Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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