My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
