idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
