Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
