well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
