names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
it's like iHOP with fire
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
