the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
