we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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