update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
How does it feel to date your dad?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
