yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
