youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I am available for nakedness
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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