How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Hippo gnu deer
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
