just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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