you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
