I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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