He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
