They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
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